Questionable Questions
by JuliaBoon
Summary: Ever ask a question that shouldn't ever be asked? These are a series of funny Doctor Who short-stories aimed at answering some of these Questionable Questions. Rated M for minor course language & some sexual references. R&R!
1. Does the Doctor Spring Clean?

_A/N: Ever think about a question but it's just so ridiculous you can't ask it with a straight face, or even at all?  
__Ever question something that really shouldn't be questioned?  
__These are Questionable Questions, questions that that you question why you even asked them.  
__  
Contained within these pages are a series of funny short stories written to answer some of these Questionable Questions I've personally had about Doctor Who. They may not be follow any chronological order and does not usually contain any markers (except perhaps the current companion) of which incarnation of the Doctor the stories involve; although usually it contains either the 9th or 10th Doctor. The stories may be PG or they may be rude but please enjoy!_

Does the Doctor Spring Clean?

Rose walked out of the corridor with a triumphant smile on her face.  
She dusted her hands off and said, "I cleaned out your fridge!"  
The Doctor was below the pillar in the centre of the control room, his face pointed up at the ceiling but his focus on the various wires and buttons above his head.  
"Hmm?" he asked, distracted.  
Rose walked over and looked down at him, "I said, I clean out your refrigerator."  
She shuddered, "The fing was really disgusting! All this strange gunk in there!"  
"Oh, yes; the refrigerator. Cleaned it out did you?" he mumbled to himself, then suddenly he jumped up and yelled,  
"What!" bumping his head on the grate, "You did what!" he ran down the corridor and found himself in the kitchen. Rose followed him and stood by the door as the Doctor ranted, "You cleaned out the fridge! Where's the trash?" he asked.  
"What?" Rose asked confused. The Doctor shook his head and searched the room frantically until he found the trashcan. He turned it upside down, the trash cascading down onto the floor. He ran his hands through the garbage until he found a clear container with strange oozing green goo inside. He held it up to his face and stroked it slightly.  
"You threw him out!" the Doctor said, concerned.  
"It's just some goo." She sighed.  
"Just some goo?" he shouted, "This is Jaloncstein, crowned princess of Granarexapitorinina!" he exclaimed.  
"Then what was she doing in the fridge then?" Rose asked, almost to the point of laughing.  
"Her planet is super cooled, she needs cold to survive!" he patted the glass container on the top then opened the refrigerator, "There you go, back in the fridge." The Doctor mumbled to the green ooze as he placed it inside.  
Rose began to laugh and the Doctor smiled too.  
"Perhaps next time I'll ask before I clean!" Rose bellowed in laughter.

**A/N: Jaloncstein is an alien that has not appeared or been mentioned on Doctor Who and is if my own creation.  
Granarexapitorinina is a planet that has not appeared or been mentioned on Doctor Who and is of my own creation.  
No rights reserved.**


	2. Where is the Bathroom in the TARDIS?

Where is the Bathroom in the TARDIS?

Rose bounded down the corridor and stopped dead before the Doctor who was staring intently at a screen that was nothing but swirling circles.  
"Doctor!" Rose exclaimed, breathless.  
"Yes?" he replied, distracted by the images. Rose waved a hand in front of his face, aiming to get his full attention.  
"Where's the toilet?" she enunciated slowly.  
"The bathroom?" he asked, his eyes panning back to the screen; his mind still a tad distracted.  
Rose bounded up and down in impatience, "Yes! The bathroom!"  
"Hmm, let me see. Through the corridor, twelve doors down, turn right and it's the last door on the left…I think that's number thirty-four."  
"What!" Rose squealed, "That can't be right!"  
"Oh!" exclaimed the Doctor, "You're right. It's down the corridor, twelve doors down, turn _left_ and it's the _second_ last door on the left."  
"Oh god!" Rose yelled as she ran down the corridor and disappeared out of sight.  
The Doctor looked away from the screen for a second, looking at where Rose had been and said, "Or there's that one next to your bedroom in the ensuite." He turned back to the screen and continued to stare intently at those circles.

**A/N: Directions not based on the actual interior layout of the TARDIS.**


	3. What about Rose's Monthlies?

What about Rose's Monthlies?

Rose stood in the corridor opening looking across at the Doctor, her legs crossed.  
"Doctor." She called to him, under the TARDIS grate, tinkering with the system.  
"Hmm?" he asked, as he welded two wires together.  
"Ahh," Rose mumbled, she fiddled with a strand of her hair as she said, "We…uhm…We're out of umm…milk!"  
"Milk?" he asked, "We've got plenty of milk."  
Rose shook her head at her unsuccessfulness, "No. I…uhm meant…coffee!"  
"You don't drink coffee. You're British." He said, still under the TARDIS grate.  
"No I meant tea." Rose tried to correct.  
"We have plenty of tea." The Doctor said as he pulled a wire free.  
Rose sighed loudly as she gave up, "Okay!" she yelled, "Fine! I'm out of tampons; you got me!" she ranted.  
The Doctor was up like a rocket. When he got to his feet he was as rigged as a board.  
"We're going shopping." He said rather stiffly.  
Rose was confused, "Not too domestic for you?" she asked.  
"We're going shopping. Now." He turned sharply and was out the door.  
Rose giggled despite keeping her legs firmly crossed.


	4. What Else Changes?

What "else" Changes When the Doctor Regenerates? 

**A/N: This one's a bit rude! The rating changed because of this short-story but here's an extra warning!  
M for mature audiences, sexual references and a little bit of explicit imagery.**

The Doctor wavered on his feet as he clutched his other hand in agony. The glowing veins shot through his body until finally his flesh could take no more. Rose watched in horror as his hands and his head were enveloped in bright yellow light; it shot up into the air, striking the roof of the TARDIS, shaking the walls in its power. Then suddenly the light ceased and the Doctor had transformed.  
The Doctor now stood before Rose, his face different; thinner and younger. His hair and eyes a different colour and when he spoke his voice no longer held the brute force of his once northern accent; instead it was softer and lighter closer to the London accents Rose had once heard on the local news broadcasts. His jacket and jumper now no longer fit him, they had become loose and hung low about him.  
His teeth had also seemingly grown, having gotten larger and more pronounced.  
"New teeth." He said, licking his front teeth strangely, "I'm going to have to get used to that." He turned and faced Rose, a weird smile upon his lips.

He looked himself over, "Okay, so I still got legs! Plus no two heads. Now let's see…what else?"  
Rose screwed up her face at his apparent disregard of her.  
"No, wait!" he said, urgently. Suddenly if something had just occurred to the Doctor, he hit the ground running towards the corridor. He turned into the bathroom and shut the door behind him; locking it sharply. His eyes shot from side to side then he looked down at his pants; a mixture of curiosity and concern on his new face. He ripped off the belt then his new fingers fumbled with the buttons on his fly. Finally he tore of his pants and underwear both at the same time revealing his new "equipment" to the cool air that the TARDIS filled the room with. His eyes inspected _it_ then he jumped up and twisted in a somehow depressed way.  
"Oh no!" he cried out, "Down three sizes!" he whined.  
He stopped and tried to smile reassuridly to himself, "Remember it's about how you use it, it's not about size."  
He thought about that for a second then cried out, "Oh no! Who am I kidding! Of course it's about size."


End file.
